Woof…

Attention Mexican Bounty Hunters…
Dog the Bounty Hunter is coming to Halifax.

Duane Lee Chapman will appear at the Forum at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 25. An ex-con and born-again Christian and reality TV star, Dog will talk about his life and share highlights of more than 6,000 captures over his 20-year career.

Bounty hunting is illegal in Canada (back during the Reagan Administration, Canada recalled their Ambassador over a bounty-hunting incident when one of their nationals was grabbed in Montreal for trial in Florida), but Canada and Mexico do have an extradition treaty.

Of course, so do the U.S. and Mexico, though right-wing politicians — and the low-rent racists they represent — love the guy:

Dog canceled his hometown appearance without explanation — although it might be because his oldest son, 34-year-old Christopher, just told the National Enquirer that Daddy is a “monster,” a crack-smoking bigot who hates blacks and gays.

I choose to remember the good times, like the first time I ever saw Dog. It was a couple of years ago. I wasn’t really doing anything with myself other than crashing on various floors and collecting Beanie Babies, so when two friends asked if I wanted to head to Mexico with them for a couple of months, bum around our fiery neighbor to the south and see what we could see, I figured why not?

Mexico was a hot and mysterious land full of beautiful Latinas, cold Tecate and miles and miles of ocean, and I loved every second of it. A few weeks into the trip, I picked up a Spanish-language newspaper and saw a picture of Dog. He was grizzled and leathery, haggard and angry-looking, posing in a mug shot after being arrested in Mexico. I couldn’t really understand all of the article, but I did pick up on several key words: “Fugitivo,” “Colorado” and “violar” — to rape.

 “Dog”, a cheap private eye (rather mysterious though how a convicted murderer was allowed to act as a bail bondsman) “just happened” to mess up a joint U.S. Mexican arrest of a wanted rapist, damaging police and diplomatic relations between the two countries, and then… appealing to his TV audience (and the boobs who want the votes of the boobs who watch the TV show) concocting some cock-n-bull story about how the “arrest” was legal, or — even more absurd — why “Dog” should run free because the guy he kidnapped was a bad guy and, besides, it was only Mexico.

He’s not the first, nor the last fool to try “bounty hunting” in Mexico, and there shouldn’t be any reason to treat him any differently.   But, the other guys were … well… brown.  I’ve since tossed them out as “spam” but I got a couple of comments from some guy claiming to be named “Poncho” denying that Chapman’s supporters are not a bunch of white-trash inbred losers, but I don’t think a guy calling himself a raincoat is much of an expert on … well… anything.

“Poncho” aside, I get a lot of “hits” about the “Dog.”  I couldn’t figure it out.  Just lately, my post on the State Department’s caving in to pressure from 3rd Reich Representative Tom Tancredo of Colorado has been one of the “Top Posts.”  Apparently, Dog has been on one of the afternoon TV talk shows recently, and, his Pavlovian followers are lapping it up.

Oh well.  I don’t mind the extra “hits,” and maybe the mouth-breathers will learn something.  And, I hear the Mounties always get their Dog.

Canada owes Mexico some apologies anyway... so maybe grabbing Dog would be a nice gesture.   Or, if they don’t want to get their hands too dirty, just steering him to a plane going to Guadajara.