Tropical depression from North of the Border
This tale of surviving our visitors from the north was passed on by a lady who after one winter in gringo gulch built (with her late husband) “our new casa in one of the colonias amongst the wonderful Mexican families out there, where it was highly unlikely that other gringos would even consider living.” Maybe for a reason: Ben Franklin observed that “fish and visitors stink after three days.” In the tropics, things tend to ripen a tad quicker.
In March, I had guests in my home for 8 days. That was 7.5 days too long! She was a classmate from my high school days. I’ve only seen her one time since then, and we didn’t get to know each other very well, though I did think that she was nice. Her ‘man friend’, a good twenty years our senior, was a true gentleman.
Within hours, I was shaking my head at some of the things she’d say. My house was too small. Funny, but she had visualized me as having a beautiful home overlooking the ocean! Not from anything I ever said, that’s for sure! She could NEVER live in that cramped space. Well, DUH, it fits ME!!!
The first night, she complained about the odor of carne asada being cooked at the Taqueria on my corner. “That should be outlawed! Cooking should be done inside where it doesn’t pollute the environment!”
Same night, she complained about the music coming from my neighbor’s cochera. They were playing dominoes with the kids on the street and it was a Friday night, so they had music. And, it was only 8:30pm!! “Doesn’t ANYone think of their neighbors? Did you ever think about calling the cops?” Heck, NO! I love the music! And, I love it that my neighbors have kids who don’t fight or cause trouble.
She didn’t like the food. Too spicy, even seafood fixed at home, with no chiles. Wouldn’t drink the water unless it came in a bottle with a sealed cap. No ice, ever, so all drinks had to be cold from the fridge. In the buffet line at a popular local eatery, she picked up a spoonful of atun en escabeche, smelled it and threw the spoon back into the pan, saying loudly enough for others to hear, “They think I’m eating this slop, they’re crazy!” She only ate a piece of arrachera, and complained that ‘WE didn’t get our money’s worth on that meal!”…. hey, who paid for that meal, anyhow? ME!
Mexican chain restaurants were too noisy and busy for her, especially on Sunday morning, after Mass. The local gringo eatery served her limonada in a glass with ice, so she wouldn’t drink it. Another place was so busy that the waiters couldn’t possibly be washing their hands between customers! Street food? That taqueria on the corner? Are you outta your ‘…….’ mind??
Our cathedral wasn’t anything special … she’s been to the Vatican, and nothing short of that impresses her. Especially not the church with the gold altar that I took them by bus to see in Rosario. And, speaking of Rosario, she was planning on going home and writing to Al Gore to suggest that he come down and clean up the air quality in that town! This was all discussed in a very loud voice while waiting with other people for the bus returning to Mazatlan.
Going to Rosario by bus, the TV was on, playing something with a Mexican comedian. In Spanish, no less!!! So, if they can’t find something in English, why bother having it on at all? Well, for one thing, for all the Mexican people traveling in the bus. Oh, well, they were probably all tourists from the US, so they should be able to understand English (oh brother!!)
In the city bus, coming home from a thai restaurant whee she didn’t like the food because it was spicy, we were driving through the Infonavit projects, which are not a run-down dump by my Mexican standards. The bus was crowded, with people going home after putting up with insensitive gringos all day on the Zona Dorado. I was, THANKFULLY, sitting three seats in front of her, but even from that distance, I heard her say “Good Lord, how can these people LIVE like this?!!” If I’d been any closer, I’m sure I would have punched her in the mouth!
She would not go and get money from an ATM, because her US dollars have been good enough all over the world, so they should be acceptable ‘in this dump of a country!’… Either I or her ‘man friend’ paid for everything. She was unhappy after learning that one place doesn’t take ‘plastic’ because “they can’t possibly expect all these Mexican people to have CASH on hand, can they?”
She was watching the news on CNN on the last morning they were there. I don’t know what the news report was about, but definitely heard her say, “What do THESE people need education for?” WHAT?? Well, she explained to me, they only need to know how to read enough to be able to bring you what you’ve ordered from the menu, so why do they need universities? Oh, and those ‘universities’ are probably only little ‘city colleges’ anyway, right? After I got through telling her what I thought of her attitude, I told her that Tec de Monterrey, with a campus in Mazatlan, is one of the world’s most respected institutions of higher learning…. and definitely a fully accredited UNIVERSITY!!! She wanted to argue that any Mexican who is educated probably went to the US to get their schooling.
So, finally, it was time for them to go to the airport. I had turned down offers from my neighbors to take them, because SHE didn’t deserve to be waited on or catered to. No way! I called early and made arrangements for the taxi to pick them up at mi casa, and told the two of them to let me go out to the taxi and negotiate a price for them before they came out with their bags. Oh, yah, I negotiated, alright!
In my own devious way, I got back at her for all her nastiness… too bad she’ll probably never know what I did! As the taxi driver was opening his trunk for the bags, I leaned over and asked him how much to the airport. For you, amiga, $220 Oh, NO, AMIGO, it’s not for me; it’s for those two people. He is ‘gentile’, pero ella esta una gringa pinche… y para sus viaje a la aeropuerto, la carga esta $250… no esta $220… y, tambien, su propino esta $50 mas, verdad?? SI, SENORA!! BIGGEST DAMN GRIN YOU’VE EVER SEEN!!!!!
As soon as their taxi turned the corner, my neighbors and I did a dance of celebration in the middle of the street….and, that night, we had a bit of a ‘reunion’ in mi cochera; with our feet up and drinks in hand, we told stories of stupid gringos who leave their manners in the toilet at the airport before they leave the states. A few of them asked me if she was ever coming back again, and I said NO, not as long as I’m alive.
mexfiles.net 
You show great restraint….. I think I might have strangled her after the second day…….good old ugly Americans, they show up at the damnedest times.
I don’t think it’s so much about manners as about bone deep incapacity to see other people as people.
There is no such thing as a poor American, the standards back home are so good, that we sometimes forget how blessed that America is. This woman sickens me, because she acts like it is ok for her to act in this way. She shows no humility towards others who would seek the same living conditions that in her area would be considered as low. She is absolutely disgraceful. In America, 30 years ago we had drinking water problems like Mexico has today… We survived them. We also had spinach with salmonela recalls and all kinds of issues just a decade ago. Americans are so spoiled that we tend to forget that America once had sweat shops and child labor too…. IN 1770’s-1930’s! All while protesting the economic and cultural development of poor nations who want nothing more than to have what we have. Shamefull. Maybe Mexico should treat Americans like the Xenophobic Anti-Capitalist Americans treat illegal immigrants. Maybe then these idiots will wake up and know how good it is to be born an American.
“There is no such thing as a poor American”
Sure there is, just as poor anywhere else. Theres just less of them in that level.
The most appalling aspect of all this is that your behavior was exactly the same as hers. She rudely refused to accept your lifestyle and you just as rudely refused to accept hers. But you are better because you kept quiet…uh, except for writing this article, talking behind her back, and setting her up with the taxi driver.
You said this woman was not really your friend, so what would you have to lose from being adult about the situation and stating clearly that her behavior was insensitive, would not be tolerated, and either must change or she should leave. If you tried to explain a different perspective to her and she completely ignored your attempts to modify her behavior (which I rarely find to be the case in real life, though it makes great stories for forums like this), that would seem to be the only alternative. Even adults need appropriate boundaries.
In the end you must ask yourself: did I help improve this situation or make it worse.
No, you’re right…much easier (and more entertaining) to use it as a proof of the “Ugly American” stereo-type.
Ricardo nails it!
How sad, how true, how funny! That was a clever and most suitable come-uppance. Yup, you had the real deal there, but up here north of the so-called border that can be a daily experience which comes not only from such miserable rat-bags full-force as with her, but also with “subtlety” and in many venues. After I’d sermoned a superficially pleasant enough but terribly racist-mouthed young central California gringo about his outrageous comments he allowed as how he supposed he could, yes, allow “a little more dirt into his life.” I pursued the matter no further. Of course it needs to be said that your lady friend had her Mexican bourgeois (or more likely wannabe) counter-parts visiting here in the forties, fifties and well into eighties to whom nothing Chicano was appealing. Our Spanish was as bad as our English; we did not observe the “true” customs or traditions; our poverty was “disgraceful” in such a rich country so “full of opportunities” (ha ha ha); we “dropped out of school too much” ( we had to fight to get into secondary education!), brown-skinned mejicanos did not respect the pale-skinned Spanish “madre patria” as we should, on and on. Reminds me of the Yan and Ying wheel.