‘Scuse me, while I kiss the sky… and then puke

Ever since the Torre Latinoamericana opened in 1956 on its giant waterbed (it floated nicely in the 1957 earthquake and rocked and rolled — but stood up — in the 8.1 Richter 1985 quake), Mexico City got over its fear of tall buildings. The Latinoamerica is only 45 stories, which isn’t tall by skyscraper standards, but it was the tallest building in Latin America until 1972, when Mexico City’s World Trade Center tower opened (and is still standing). That’s the building on Insurgentes Sur with the Siqueiros diorama in the revolving restaurant on top. Siqueiros also designed the fence around the parking lot, but did not do the statue of Elvis across the street.

Santa Fe has the best modern buildings — there was land and space there for some whimsical buildings like the giant washing machine (no, it’s not for money laundering, though it is for Coca Cola) and the giant Tequila bottle (with a worm scupture in the foyer). Naturally, the latter was built for José Cuervo. And perched on a bluff are the “Giant Pair of Pants” building. You always expect to see George Jetson arriving at about the 40th floor.

My favorite office tower is Torre Mayor, at 55 stories Mexico’s tallest building. I watched it go up: the steel frame isn’t made of I-beams, but of giant shock absorbers. In THEORY, it’ll stand up to an 8.5 Richter earthquake, though I’ll bet owner George Soros wouldn’t want to be on the top floor if that happened.

Some friends of mine were on the 26th floor when we had a 7.1 Richter shake in 2003, right after the building opened. I was giving English lessons at the time to a very nervous banker down the street, whose employer had invested heavily in the building’s construction. He was out in the street with his binoculars — literally watching his investments.

One secret I discovered when working in Torre Mayor. The upper floor North Men’s Rooms have a really great view. I have no idea if architect Paul Reichmann planned it this way, but the urinals are are in a sight line with a glass panel running up the whole side of the building. On a clear day, you can take a pee and contemplate the Basilica.

Yes, there are some cool buildings in Mexico City. Torre Bicententario is NOT one of them. If it is built, the 70 story edifice will loom 1000 meters over Chapultepec Park. By the way, it’s in a neighborhood where the height restriction on buildings is 3 meters. And to build it, the historic 1948 Vladimir Kaspé house, a classic of modernist home architecture (and part of the National Patrimony) will have to be demolished. And the well-heeled neighbors have taken to the streets in protest.

And did I mention it would also be on the approach path to Benito Juarez Airport? And that it’s only a few meters from Los Pinos and that even in Mexico, it’s considered a security risk?

And — by the way — it’s fucking ugly.

Architect Rem Koolhaus says it was inspired by Chichén Itza. Bullshit. This is Albrecht Speer thinking inside the box …

Citius64 has lots to say about Torre Bicentenario… none of it good.