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Bloody twits!

8 December 2008

Nezua got a bit bent out of shape about the The Times (of England) On-line 7 December “Confessions of a Tourist: everything goes down Mexico way“, and suggested we respond. The biggest problem with the article — besides being patent fiction — is that it’s written, not in English, but in British… a dialect which uses the word “humour” for what normal English-speakers call “racist bullshit.” I don’t pretend to be fluent in British, but there are ways to respond that might be sensible to the inhabitants of the sceptered isle.  As the Scots (not English)woman (Lady McBeth) recommended:  Be bloody, bold and resolute.

To the Editor, The Times


The British are coming!  The British are coming!

The British are coming! The British are coming!

I realize that the benighted inhabitants of your unhappy, cramped, damp island only traveled the world  under the influence of rum, sodomy and the lash; that historically it was your criminal classes sent to the Americas; and that your nation resents the fact that your people lost their Empire as a result of Mexico’s decision to prevent your companies from stealing our oil for the benefit of your Navy until 1938;  but I would have hoped that  a newspaper like “The Times” might have had a civilizing effect on  a people best known for poor dental hygiene, unattractive, pasty bodies, inedible food, alarming levels of heroin addiction, illegitimacy and hooliganism.

British beauty

The enticing smile of a typical British lass

Given the undeveloped state of your culture, perhaps the fictive nature of the 7 December 2007 “Confessions of a Tourist: everything goes down Mexico way” was based in some primitive folkloric tradition by-passed by the modern world.  However,  even in a nation so benighted as to maintain a hereditary monarchy, one would expect newspapers to print something that at least approached the suburbs of veracity.

Where, one asks, did “Cael Weedon” find a hotel in Ensenada on a “dirt road”?  And, though the area seemed crowded with foreigners (presumably downtown Encinada, which keeps its cobbled streets out of a sense of tradition, and a cost effective way of controlling traffic), where was “Weedon” that there were no automatic teller machines, nor telephones, if indeed his wallet was stolen.  And, given the large number of foreigners — all presumably engaged in unethical behavior (as was Weedon) — must one presume the wallet was stolen by nationals?

English thankfully only half-naked

Brits abroad -- thankfully only half-naked

“Weedon” ends his tale with a claim that a hotel manager spied on him whilst passed out naked.    Unlike Britain, Mexico is a modern nation, with a written constitution (unlike your vague “unwritten” constitution depending on the abject acceptance of custom and traditional values, allows all persons equal rights before the law).  If a Mexican is so perverse as to find the pale, pasty, flabby, drunken, sexually repulsive Brits (and I have yet to see any other kind in Mexico) an object of desire, that is his right, and “Cael Weedon” has nothing to complain about.


Richard Grabman

Mazatlan, Sinaloa, Mexico

8 Comments leave one →
  1. 8 December 2008 9:02 am

    Oh, snap!

  2. 8 December 2008 11:21 am

    ““The Times” might have had a civilizing effect on a people best known for poor dental hygiene, unattractive, pasty bodies, inedible food, alarming levels of heroin addiction, illegitimacy and hooliganism”

    The article may leave much to be desired, but I fail to see how making your own rude and ignorant generalisations is a good counter to it. Sorry if I’ve had a sense of humour bypass as well… I rarely consider myself a patriotic Brit, I don’t even live there anymore, but I’m really disappointed by this post.

  3. 8 December 2008 12:46 pm

    hilarious richard.

    lily, the article leaves much to be desired, that’s for sure. and while showing a mirror image of rudeness may not be the solution for the world, i like it here. let them see what it feels like. thinking they could just push out some trash into a favorite gutter because they are light on real opeds.

    and here’s maybe an even better idea Lily. Perhaps you can write one to the Times? Show us rude people how its done. Please, do. Call your own countrymen out if you have such standards. i for one would love to read your note.

  4. 8 December 2008 1:36 pm

    In Lillie’s defense, she has excellent teeth and good manners… and, as the author of the excellent “Memory in Latin America” (, “gets it” when it comes to Latin American history and culture. I understand her being offended: stereotypes are offensive, but unfortunately do color our perceptions, and sometimes override journalistic integrity — as well as common decency — as they did at The Times.

  5. DCMex permalink
    8 December 2008 1:50 pm

    Ms. Langtry, the reaction you had is exactly the reaction you are supposed to have, and most likely the reaction that Richard wanted from the author of the article in the Times. Richard’s reducto ad absurdum use of the stereotype of the English was meant to show how the use of fallacious ethnic stereotypes is offensive no matter who the target is. I think Richard’s on the right track throwing back mud since the author and editors are obviously otherwise blind to this truth.

  6. 8 December 2008 2:30 pm

    I commented to a colleague that the toothy photo was from the shallow end of the gene pool. He insisted that by English standards, it was from the deep end.

  7. MaryOGrady permalink
    9 December 2008 12:57 pm

    The “Times,” sadly, has not been a good newspaper since Rupert Murdoch bought it a couple of decades ago. I am not surprised to see that it publishes this kind of tripe.

  8. otto permalink
    9 December 2008 8:31 pm

    Grabman 1, Faded Empire 0

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