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Trump card

27 April 2011

Given the fact that U.S. political campaigns go on way, way, way too long,  it’s close enough to the November 2012 Presidential election that the parties are already ramping up their various pleading for bribes (ooops… “private campaign contributions”).  With absolutely no credible candidates on the Republican side (yet), the most creative of those potential bribees… and, thus the presumed front runner in the party at this time … is Donald Trump.

Trump is independently wealthy, so I assume he has a leg up in his campaign to raise even more money (and that may be the whole point of his campaigning… to generate a revenue stream for some other project).  Still, I suppose it’s worth starting to look at U.S. candidate’s foreign policy experience, especially in regard to Latin America.

Trump has given some thought to foreign policy.  He already promised to commit a war-crime (of the kind people were hanged for at Nuremburg) in the Middle East, and he does have some Latin American experience.

In Panamá, Trump attached his name to the soon to be open (or, so they say) Trump Ocean Club International Tower. While the Panamanians have a reputation for putting up with … er, shall we say… “colorful” business types, some things even they can’t accept. Trump’s statements about the Panama Canal convinced the Panamanian capital’s municipal government to declare the Republican candidate “persona non grata”… which will make cutting the ribbon rather a chore.  It seems Trump, in addition to his proposal to steal Iraqi oil, has floated the idea of stealing back The Canal.

At least those were only potential thefts.  In October 2006, Trump was…er… trump-eting his then latest venture, this one in Mexico:

The Trump Organization CEO Donald J. Trump and Irongate have announced plans for Trump Ocean Resort Baja Mexico, a luxury condominium-hotel resort located in North Baja, Mexico, just 30 minutes from downtown San Diego.

Developed as a partnership between the Trump Organization and Los Angeles-based real estate development and investment company Irongate, Trump Ocean Resort Baja will bring a new level of excellence in design and service to the North Baja peninsula. Trump Ocean Resort Baja will be the first resort along the peninsula to combine luxury resort amenities and services with real estate ownership.

“Trump Ocean Resort Baja will redefine the standard of premier property ownership and service excellence for all of Northern Mexico,” said Trump. “I’ve always said, ‘location is everything,’ and being just 30 minutes from downtown San Diego makes this an ideal locale for a premier resort property.”

The Marketwire release went on to make the case that Trump “is the very definition of the American success story,” with a good investment record:

From project development to construction, sales and property management, The Trump Organization and its affiliates have carried out a variety of complex real estate deals.

Er… uh… well… um.  Like so many U.S. politicos before him, when it comes to Mexico, white man (with weird hairpiece) speak with forked tongue. In February 2009, business papers were reporting:

There is no joy in Trumpville today.  The mighty Donald has struck out – again.

New York entrepreneur Donald J. Trump’s planned 526-suit Trump Ocean Resort Baja – 30 minutes south of Downtown San Diego – is nothing but a deep hole in the ground today.

The condo-hotel project in North Baja, Mexico, could not obtain financing from a German bank to start construction.

Investors who had rushed to plunk down 30 percent deposits on suites priced from $300,000 to $3 million, are out their money.

Trump Entertainment Resorts Inc., through a Mexican entity, PB Impulsores, informed investors there were no funds to refund deposits totaling $32.2 million.

Trump Entertainment Resorts maintains a clause in the buyers’ contracts gave the developer a right to spend their deposits.

Several lawsuits have already been filed in Los Angeles Superior Court.

Trump Baja condos went on sale in October 2006. S&P Destination Properties sold 188 units for a total $122 million on the first day of the sale.

Trump and his partner in the project, Los Angeles-based Irongate Capital Partners LLC, had retained S&P Destination to handle sales and marketing.

Given the crappy field of contestants (including the incumbent) when it comes to Latin American relations, I suppose we have to give Trump some credit, at least for undertaking a Mexican venture in which he screwed over a heck of a lot more gringos than Mexicans.

Trump Baja: a big hole and a bigger asshole

5 Comments leave one →
  1. kyledeb permalink
    27 April 2011 8:28 am

    Most hilarious take on Donald Trump that I’ve read so far. Keep it up, hermano.

  2. 27 April 2011 8:36 pm

    Took nothing but the ridiculous comb-over for me

    Next he’ll be dressed as Oprah Winfrey

    • 27 April 2011 11:10 pm

      Is that what that thing on his head is? I thought maybe he’d been a fan of Davey Crockett as a kid and never took off the coon-skin cap.

  3. Bear permalink
    29 April 2011 2:10 pm

    A coon skin cap would have looked better for the “birther” buffoon.

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  1. Trump card « The Mex Files | BuzzNow.co.in

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