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Celebrity endorsements you probably don’t want

30 July 2011

Prosperity Technology is a small specialty manufacturer in Zapopan (Guadajara), Jalisco.  They proudly advertise their products as having “C.I.A design”, their product being the Caltrop Tire Spike Deflator:

Caltop Tire Spike Deflator, no matter how they are thrown, dropped, slid, or direction they land in, they do the job. Take´em in the covert ops field, black sundown ops, transport jobs, vehicle defence strolls, and watch them take care of the tires.

Of course, one would never use them for that.  After all, as the company tells us in slightly larger print:

Treated and sold as Novelty Item: We are not reponsible [sic] for uses given, such as in the movie The Transporter. We are manufacturers.

And they do mail-order which has earned them, as Duncan Tucker writes in the Guadalajara Reporter, a glowing testimonial from one satisfied customer:

…  On page 884 of “2083: A Declaration of European Independence,” [Anders] Breivik reveals that he purchased vehicle-disabling road blocks from Prosperity Technologies in Zapopan, a municipality of Guadalajara.

“The best caltrops available against vehicles are hollow spikes which puncture self-sealing rubber tires. The hole in the center allows air to escape even if the other end of the tube is sealed by soft ground,” says Breivik, noting that an effective roadblock requires “10-20 caltrops” which vary in price from 3-5 dollars per unit.

The Norwegian terrorist ordered 60 caltrops from the Jalisco-based firm, commenting that they are “very useful for certain missions where it is necessary to either escape (use on free-way to prevent pursuit), or to block of (sic) roads or to cause havoc in situations where you want to prevent protectors from pursuing you.”

I suppose  it could have been worse. 

(It tried to find out at least something about Prosperity Technologies, Inc.— the Mexican manufacturer, not the probably unrelated Ukranian software solutions firm of the same name.  The on-line business directory listing I can find shows the  manufacturing plant not in Jalisco, but at 3420 Lovett,  Detroit Michigan.  The business at the Detroit address is AK Solutions which makes breath-alizers.  All I can figure is the two companies are niche players in the “security” industry, but whether they are related, or it’s simply that Prosperity moved at some point to Mexico from the United States, and another firm with more or less the same customer-base took over the facility in Detroit, I have no way of knowing. )

4 Comments leave one →
  1. 30 July 2011 6:56 pm

    Nice follow up piece, Rich. What a crazy freaking world we live in, and connections that are made no matter how unusual they may be have even crazier ramifications for us in general. As you aptly point out, endorsements in these cases aren’t solicited for good reason…

  2. steve permalink
    31 July 2011 12:52 am

    Before you make any more posts, why don’t you go back to the first grade and learn how to spell and form a proper sentence.

  3. 31 July 2011 3:09 am

    Um… thanks for sharing.

    Although there is one comma I might have replaced with a semi-colon, your comment might have more properly been made about one of my all-too many other posts full of clogged sentences and misspellings.

    Should I ever happen to find myself at Steves’ Market & Deli (110 E Chandler St, Brownwood, TX 76801), I’ll be happy to discuss those particular sentences and misspellings with you.

  4. kwallek permalink
    5 August 2011 6:38 am

    We call them jacks out on the picket line, we throw them down as the heavy trucks cross the union’s picket line. Tires are not cheap-all part of the war between capital and labor.

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