El mega-crimen de Padre Onésimo

Federal District prosecutors failed in their attempt to obtain an arrest warrant for Onésimo Cepeda Silva. Cepada is suspected of having defrauded the late  Olga Azcárraga of 130 million DOLLARS worth of fine art six months before her death in October 203.

The evidence against Cepeda includes a promissory note for a “loan” of the art works (including works by José Clemente Orozco, Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera, Rufino Tamayo, Joaquín Sorolla, Marc Chagall and  Modigliani)  which he then appropriated as his own property.

The judge agreed with prosecutors that a crime has taken place, and that Cepeda is involved, but the degree of his culpability is in question.  The judge has referred the matter back to the Prosecutor for clarification of the charges.

Olga Azcárraga owed her tremendous fortune to her family business… she’s was the matriarch of the filthy rich clan that owns Televisa, the telenovela people.  Perhaps the family could recoup some of their loss by serializing their own story… about a seemingly saintly figure worming his way into the affections of the rich matriarch.  That’d be believable, but they might have trouble with foreign serial rights (which is what has made telenovela’s  so immensely profitable, allowing the family to have a few million in Modiglianis sitting around) because much of the drama revolves around a sticky and odd quirk in Mexican law:  clergymen can only receive an inheritance from a near relation —  mostly to prevent “telenovelesque” (if I can invent a word here) situations where rich old ladies are defrauded by their spiritual advisors.  Which Cepeda was to the late Ms. Azcárraga.

I’m not sure how you’d fit it in, but I suppose if you also want to sell the broadcast rights to Christian Broadcasting Network, you might do something with our soon to be incarcerated villain’s name.  Onésimo (“Onesimus” in English) shows up in Paul’s Epistle to Philomen, run-away slave and thief.  And, for the Catholic run Eternal Word Network, you might add in that St. Onésimo is the patron saint of a good reputation.

Ah, we can work out the minor details, fudge the nuances and skip the irony… and still have one hell of a great scandalous tale.  Cepeda is not just any man of the cloth, he is the Bishop of Ecatepec.

If the prosecutors can’t nail him, and the judge can’t quite bring himself to arrest His Grace for a crime, there’s something else to consider about defrauding an old lady’s rich relations.